Holiday rundown

I finished my shopping, mailing and decorating just in time to actually enjoy the holidays. And tonight as I'm sitting on the couch watching my tree light up I find myself suffering a bit with the post holiday blues. So I decided to share some of my big memories of this holiday, some good some not so much...but all of them are now imprinted forever in my memory box.

1. Shopping with my dad the day before Christmas Eve. I was expecting some attitude and frustration from my dad as a result of not knowing what to get my mom. But honestly, it was the exact opposite! We shopped, find the exact items he imagined her opening, we laughed, we had lunch and even a cocktail with a toast!

2. Baking cookies with my mom and getting ready for the big Christmas Eve party at my house. We wore matching aprons, danced to music, had a cocktail (are you seeing a theme) and laughed out loud.

3. Hosting 16 people (family) for Christmas Eve and enjoying every minute. Even Fred did a great job and we had no issues.

4. Sentimental toast! My dad stood up at dinner, toasted to his family...dad, brother, sister, wife, kids, grand kids...everybody! He wished my grandmother was still alive to share this memory. He cried and my brother stood up and walked over to his side, hugged him and helped him finish the toast.

5. Opening presents with my parents on Christmas morning! We got each other fun gifts. My parents planned a trip for all of us to go and see a show, drive to see my aunt, celebrate big...and relax! My parents are so sweet.

6. I put on a new outfit (size 8 again, finally)! I did my new hair style, put on make-up and went to my grandmothers house with my parents to celebrate Christmas evening. And within ten minutes of being there, one of my uncles walked up to me and told me that I looked fat and he was sure that nobody would ever find me attractive! SMACK! And at that very second, I walked away and cried in the next room for 5 minutes. Finally, my mom and dad came to find out what had happened and I shared the story. My dad wiped my tears, my mom called him a fucking asshole! And we walked back into the party again. A few hours later I saw both of my parents take my uncle aside and have very strong words! Thanks for defending me...I needed that boost.

7. Taking family pictures and having both my brother and sister-in-law hold my hands and stick together.

8. Surviving...this was a big holiday and I survived. It was the first Christmas without Chester. And it was the first Christmas with Fred. Spent time with my family...and also missed my family.

Overall...I felt the spirit and enjoyed all of the time with my family. Merry Christmas!

Christmas spirit?

It's official...Christmas cheer is starting to feel a little more like Christmas panic! I have only purchased a few gifts and have several more to figure out. I feel about 5 steps behind the plan and have nobody to blame but myself! So, I'm off to fit in a work out, shopping, parties, post office....maybe even searching for a little elf to help out! Cheers to all of you...hopefully you are better planners and have time to relax and just enjoy the spirit.

I'm back...

Whew...it feels like forever since I have actually written anything on this blog. Update on the grandpa situation, he is fine. Well, at least his heart is okay for now. The hospital stay allowed him to have all of the fluid drained that had accumulated around his heart and it gave his family some time to try and figure out a better living situation. He was in the hospital for five days and his wife never once came to visit, not a phone call...nothing. She took a break from him and from their marriage vows. My grandpa told me that he never wanted to marry somebody who yelled at him or was mean and/or cruel. He acknowledges that his current marriage has yelling, mean and cruel behavior dished out toward him daily. But he also explains that he didn't leave earlier and now this is his destiny. I am hopeful that my dad and his siblings are going to intervene soon and help create a better living environment for what ever time is left...6 months or 6 years!

Other news...it is colder than polar bear poop! I don't really know what that means, but today it was actually 2 degrees outside. Three days it was in the low 60's and today it's 2! The high this week is suppose to be 30 degrees and I am really looking forward to warmer days. Ugh! I still am not done shopping for Christmas gifts but also not feeling that stressed out about it either.

Lastly, I was thinking that it's been some time since I posted anything about Fred. He has grown so much since the last post. This is his first Christmas and so far the tree has remained upright. I can't say that the tree skirt has fared as well...he has such a love/hate relationship with the skirt. I often wake up in the morning with Fred on one side and the tree skirt lying on top of me. In fact, Fred has learned how to play fetch and it's a fun activity for both us. The only problem with this new trick is that he brings everything to bed with him so we can play at any time day or night. Every morning I get out of bed and have to take a couple of toys out of sheets before making the bed!

He is so different from Chester and yet I love him just as much. Chester was the sweetest boy ever and my heart still longs for his company. But Fred touches a different part of my heart in his own special way. He isn't much of a snuggler during the day...but at night time watch out! He loves to play, bite, play, eat and play some more. He loves water and getting into the shower. He is such a tease to my mom and makes her work very hard for some lovin! He has a strange bond with my dad and would be so happy if it were only the two of them for life. He loves kisses on the lips every day and sleeps with his stuffed animal which is a snake (Wilma). And he makes me laugh every single day!

Not that interesting

I have loved this blog. And over the last couple of years I have had no readers, some readers, more readers and now maybe not so many readers again. I get it....I totally get it! I may not be so interesting right now. So maybe I'll take a break until I have something interesting to share. I hope that means I could return tomorrow...but I'm okay if it takes longer.


Update...So it's been an hour and I just had the most random, crazy thing happen that made me write again. So maybe it's not going to be that interesting, but right now I just need to say it.

My grandfather was a widow at a young age. Years later he decided to marry again, a women 20 years younger (so that he wouldn't have to become a widow again) and it has been the most ridiculous union ever!!!!! Hi wife, and that is actually the nicest name I can use for her, is an unhappy, uncaring, selfish woman who has admitted to waiting for him to die so that she can move back to be with her family in NJ. Yep...doesn't that scream love. Not the point. Tonight I got a phone call from her at 9:50. She wanted to let somebody in the family know that my grandfather was in the hospital with congestive heart failure. I gasp and she says..."oh, it's not bad thought!" WTF...shut up woman it is that bad! He was admitted this morning and she forgot to tell anybody until now.

My grandfather has three children and she contacted me. Granted my dad is out of town on the cruise...which by the way he was out of town the last time my grandfather was fighting for his life in the hospital! But back to her for now, after listening to her talk about needing to leave the hospital so she could be home in time for her soap opera, how excited she is to watch a movie she rented and general crap, I finally was able to find out the hospital and the room number of my grandpa.

The plan, I am going to meet the doctors in the morning and try to figure out what is happening...I am going to contact my aunt and uncle to try and give them an update and get some support. And then I am suppose to call her with an update so she knows when I will be bringing my grandpa home. Ugh! My poor grandpa is fighting for his life and his stupid wife is fighting for more t.v. time. Blah!

World AIDS Day...

In the 80’s news of a disease that selected deviants spread like wild fire. By the 90’s people were starting to learn that AIDS could knock on any persons life…not discriminating gender, sexual orientation, life style or race. Research as been done, experimental drugs used, prevention discussed, celebrities have advocated for money, support and understanding. And yet in 2008 the average person still does not accept that AIDS has or will touch their life in some way.

There are those people out there that talk about choices…that somehow people making bad choices receive this as a punishment. Really…I would love to pick through their lives and find all of the bad choices made to prove that point.

AIDS and HIV have touched my life through very dear friends. These are people that I laugh with, cry to, listen and depend on daily. I wish for them health, peace, understanding and support. I am so thankful for their teaching, understanding, surviving and living! I pray for all of us…CURE!