Jan 19, 2009

My little sunshine!

I woke up this morning feeling the winter blues. At least that's what I'm calling the feeling...whatever it really is! I got out of bed this morning at 7:00 a.m. to do WORK! I have worked all weekend long (which I know is the same for many)...but this is my blog so right it's my sad story. While I sat on the couch typing teacher evaluations, I decided...NO MORE! I need a break, I need to breathe, I need to smile. So I put on my shoes (new Uggs actually), slipped on a vest and put my helmet on tight. I started my scooter up and drove around for over an hour. It's 66 degrees here today! Can you believe it...65 degrees. I drove around on my scooter soaking up the sun and listening to my ipod. It was great for my mood. I felt good, energized and happy. So now, I'm back on the couch doing work again...but this time I feel so much better. Hope you all got to enjoy a random moment this weekend.

Jan 15, 2009

Sands through the hourglass...

I love the idea of soap operas being real. Not the drama part...that I the bad part, but all of the other stuff. Nobody is ever overweight and nobody works out EVER! There is always an endless supply of good food and amazing cocktails...regardless of the time of day. Everybody has money, endless support for child care and yet nobody really works. Hearts are broken but will be mended and spirits lifted within the hour. Everybody has an amazing wardrobe, loyal friendships and complete balanced lives. Who doesn't love the idea of that life! So maybe I wouldn't love my mom sleeping with my lover or dodging a hostile encounter in the elevator with my intern...but everything else seems pretty good.

Jan 12, 2009

All dressed up...

My new look (my blog that is) was exciting to create, full of hope and maybe just a little different. But while my blog is all dressed up, it essentially has no place to go! I have been waiting and waiting to feel a masterpiece blog entry in my soul, but I have nothing. Okay, so nothing isn't really true, but haven't been able to put the pieces all together. So here it goes...my random thoughts for the day.

  • Why does my boss need to hold all day meetings every Monday when nothing is ever accomplished?
  • How do I make up the one day a week that my boss wastes my time?
  • Being honest and vulnerable is scary, empowering and hopeful.
  • I feel grateful for my employment at the same time that I feel depressed about my job.
  • Getting that "just thought you should know" call from a friend never ends with a happy feeling.
  • Only Denver can have blizzard conditions at 7 a.m. and clear, blue skies with sun at 9 a.m.
  • I wake up daily to find numerous cat toys in my bed. I never go to sleep with these toys in my bed.
  • If there is another person in my house, I sleep very lightly and am aware of the things around me. If I am alone...I hear NOTHING! Not even my phone, Fred or alarm! Random!

Have a great day to all of you!

Jan 7, 2009

Good news with a twist!

"Oh this house"...those were the only thoughts that ran through my head time and time again. But during my remodel project over the summer, I learned to appreciate these four walls. In fact, I even learned to be excited about my little chateau and the neighbors that surround me. During our summer block party, we commented on our community being one of the best places in the world. Ha!!! It's official! Look at this article and it will prove that were I live is actually one of the BEST communities in the United States.

This evening I got a letter from the local police that warned all of us to watch out for each other and keep an eye out for a group of men trying to break into houses. Hmmm...I didn't see that in the article. Oh well, we all have issues...but for now, I get to say that I truly live in one of the best places in the world (o.k...the U.S.).

Jan 6, 2009

Missing piece

Thanks to Gwen's advice and patience of my random and often stupid questions...my blog has a new look for 2009! While I was searching through hundreds of new looks the missing puzzle pieces reached out and slapped me. I have laughed, cried, screamed and questioned on this blog for over two years now. And with the new year I have decided to finish a thought, a feeling...a need. So here it goes!

I have a need to be important to myself and hopefully to others in my life. I have a need to believe that I deserve good things, love, happiness and success. It's embarrassing to actually say out loud, and I do not want any pity...but I want to say that my belief that I don't deserve good things have become self fulfilling prophecies. Now don't get me wrong, I have had some great things in my life, I have an amazing family, wonderful friendships, spunky pets (past and present), good job, nice house...you get the point. But I spend most of my days waiting for the other shoe to drop, just waiting for something bad to happen because I am undeserving of what I do have.

I watched the last few minutes of Oprah yesterday and she was talking about her constant struggle with weight. Hello!!!! We all have that struggle on some level and we don't get paid millions of dollars to discuss the reasons. But the reason I continued to watch...she said something that clicked for me. She was talking about whatever was missing in her life is the reason she feeds herself. For her it's balance, others its money and some it's fulfillment. For me it's pure 100% unconditional love. Love for myself!

So while I could write a million things that I am going to focus on in 2009, which would be great material for the millions of things that I don't follow through with in 2009...instead I'm going to try and just be me. Be me and believe that I'm enough just the way I am.