Artist I am not!

Okay...so I have tried for HOURS to correct my template and in the end had no luck. Soooo......I changed to yet another template (which took hours to figure out) and now the title is not working but in the big picture I care less about that then the dates. So who knows, this may change looks a hundred times before I actually figure out how to make it work all together.

It's New Years Eve and I am getting ready to spend some time with friends. I love the idea of New Years...starting over, new and sparkly, loving and wonderful. But the reality is that it's just another day with it's ups and downs. And while 2009 has come with some wonderful times it has also given me heartache and disappointment. But that's life really! So I am walking into 2010 with open eyes ready to experience all of my NEW things, enjoying my family and friends, grateful to have a job (even if it's a pain in the butt at times), my home and Fred. And I plan to take control of my world and be in better health, better spirits, better control and be open to life's adventures and love.

Happy New Years to all of you! Let's touch base next year!

Where did it go????

I have spent hours trying to make sure that the dates are still on my site. Yes...I changed the look, but I didn't want to erase dates. And when I go on to the template I see dates! But as soon as I post, no dates! Where do they go?

New look...new start

How does it look? I envy all of you bloggers who can change the look so often and keep things fresh. It's been a year and finally decided that with my new challenge to try 101 new things I needed a fresh look for my blog. A look that says simple, pretty and fresh. So I'm going to give it a try but welcome feedback.

Updates on my winter break. I was going to take a trip but fell through so instead I have spent time organizing, playing, working out and pretending like work isn't just around the corner. I went to see the lights at the Botanic Gardens last night and they were so pretty! I miss the warm temps but love the lights around town so it makes up for the cold...sorta.

There will be updates to my list this weekend if I don't chicken out. I hope that all of you enjoy the rest of the holiday.

Silent Nights

Not so much the song and my experiences. It will get better...right? But at least I have pretty lights to look at during those long nights. Merry Christmas to all of you!

Number 1...

I was hoping that number one of the 101 new items might be life altering...but I'm not so much. But part of this challenge is not censoring my experiences but instead just taking them as they come. So...the first "new experience" happened in the middle of another busy Christmas shopping day.

I stopped by Subway to have lunch and found myself confused about what to order. I have been working really hard on my diet and exercise so I can be a hottie (remember)! So there I stood staring at the menu trying to figure out how to eat healthy. I usually eat either a veggie or sometimes even the tuna sandwich. And there are a few crazy moments when I splurge and have a the spicy sandwich. But today I decided to try something that has never been ordered by me before! I had a turkey sandwich. Can you believe it!

Okay...I know that this i not exactly what any of us expected but it's step one. I never order turkey slices...EVER! It's a texture issue for me and one that honestly controls where I can eat. So today I decided it was time to just try it and see what happened. I survived. It was okay, not great, but okay and something that I could do again.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that number two is a little more exciting.

Finally...here is my challenge

So I wrote the last post about feeling inspired to make changes because of Julie & Julia and then there was nothing. Crickets maybe but words...NONE. It has been again a process to finally identify my new challenge. A process that has had some ups and downs but ultimately have allowed me to identify very specifically what is important.

Part of that process has been to identify that this blog has truly become so important to me that I find myself really trying to figure out what is worth posting and what would simply look like a lot of nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I think that nonsense is essential in making me truly happy but it doesn't always translate so well for me in writing. The real point is that with all of my other stuff happening in life right now, quality computer time is limited and I have to choose which sites bring me the most satisfaction. And in a time were Myspace, FaceBook, Linked (is that right?) are all the range I find myself more drawn to this blog and this process.

I have taken the time to really look at myself in the same way that Julie does in the movie. That reality check that this is the life that I created...good and bad. And honestly...I hate my life right now. I hate my job, I hate my body, I hate my anxiety, I hate being alone and I hate feeling like I'm not enough for somebody to know I'm the one. I hate that I put my life on hold for so many reasons and fear is one of them. I hate not spending as much time with my family and friends because of my work. I hate that I lost myself in the past couple of years and aren't being true to me. But mostly, I am embarrassed to admit that I hate my life right now. That is not me and that is not who I am going to continue to be.

So...that is my challenge. I am determined to find myself again and better yet, I am determined to improve who I am and enjoy life again. I started by enjoying my works out again and being focused on the moment. I have been reconnecting with my friends and honoring what they mean to me. I went back to therapy to learn to like myself and stand up for myself again. I have started to get up and move when anxiety grabs a hold of me and gain that control again. I have scheduled a meeting with my top boss to discuss a job change. And that is a great start to my new challnege.

So here it is....(drum roll) my new challenge is that I am going to do 101 new things this year. That means that one year from today I will have explored new foods, exercises, hobbies, activities, trips, friendships and so many more things that I promise to share in this blog. In fact, I had dinner with friends last night and put offered this as something we could all do together...we could do it together. And so essentially every three days I have to do something new to meet this challenge.

Welcome to my journey! I look forward to experiencing all of these new things and am excited to share these experiences with all of you (the few that still read). And, I can't wait to hear how you are inspired.

What is mine...

I mean what is my challenge? On the flight back from Mexico I watched Julie & Julia and LOVED ever minute. It was funny, sweet, sad but more than anything I felt inspired at the end. Inspired that when stuck is the only way you feel making a decision to move in a direction if only for a year can create a new life all together. I don't have any desire to learn french cooking so that option is out! I am already looking for a new job so that option is out as well. My first thought is about making myself happy....or more specifically working on me. But that seems a bit broad and a little frightening. So...what is my goal to change my life? No answers at this very moment but I promise that by the end of the week I am going to post my challenge. Any ideas? Anything you are inspired to try after watching this movie?