Dec 21, 2009

Finally...here is my challenge

So I wrote the last post about feeling inspired to make changes because of Julie & Julia and then there was nothing. Crickets maybe but words...NONE. It has been again a process to finally identify my new challenge. A process that has had some ups and downs but ultimately have allowed me to identify very specifically what is important.

Part of that process has been to identify that this blog has truly become so important to me that I find myself really trying to figure out what is worth posting and what would simply look like a lot of nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I think that nonsense is essential in making me truly happy but it doesn't always translate so well for me in writing. The real point is that with all of my other stuff happening in life right now, quality computer time is limited and I have to choose which sites bring me the most satisfaction. And in a time were Myspace, FaceBook, Linked (is that right?) are all the range I find myself more drawn to this blog and this process.

I have taken the time to really look at myself in the same way that Julie does in the movie. That reality check that this is the life that I created...good and bad. And honestly...I hate my life right now. I hate my job, I hate my body, I hate my anxiety, I hate being alone and I hate feeling like I'm not enough for somebody to know I'm the one. I hate that I put my life on hold for so many reasons and fear is one of them. I hate not spending as much time with my family and friends because of my work. I hate that I lost myself in the past couple of years and aren't being true to me. But mostly, I am embarrassed to admit that I hate my life right now. That is not me and that is not who I am going to continue to be.

So...that is my challenge. I am determined to find myself again and better yet, I am determined to improve who I am and enjoy life again. I started by enjoying my works out again and being focused on the moment. I have been reconnecting with my friends and honoring what they mean to me. I went back to therapy to learn to like myself and stand up for myself again. I have started to get up and move when anxiety grabs a hold of me and gain that control again. I have scheduled a meeting with my top boss to discuss a job change. And that is a great start to my new challnege.

So here it is....(drum roll) my new challenge is that I am going to do 101 new things this year. That means that one year from today I will have explored new foods, exercises, hobbies, activities, trips, friendships and so many more things that I promise to share in this blog. In fact, I had dinner with friends last night and put offered this as something we could all do together...we could do it together. And so essentially every three days I have to do something new to meet this challenge.

Welcome to my journey! I look forward to experiencing all of these new things and am excited to share these experiences with all of you (the few that still read). And, I can't wait to hear how you are inspired.

6 comments:

WendyB said...

One thing to leave off your list of goals...reading Julie's follow-up book. It sounds depressing.

But seriously, I applaud you. I'm just going to try to muddle through the year.

Charm City Barfly said...

That is actually a great challenge for anyone to do. I think I'm totally going to copy you and do that as well. I may not blog about it, but I think 101 new things this upcoming year would be a great for me. I'm with ya!

AJ's mommy said...

What a great challenge! Can't wait to hear more about it.

I am so sorry things are tough right now and I hope things get much better soon.

R said...

So proud of you! What a great challenge and one I KNOW you can meet!! I'm rooting for you my friend!

Suze said...

Hey, that's a great resolution. I may try it. Okay, I'll think about trying about. Okay, I'll think about you trying it. Merry Christmas, my friend, and here's to a wonderful new year!

Beth said...

That sounds like a great plan. Best wishes on your 101 things!