Jan 22, 2015

Embracing all of me

I wish that the title reflected that I have fully embraced all of myself but not yet.  I like myself more today than I have in many years.  And I work daily to see myself for the good and bad in hopes to continue to grow.  But sometimes I dissect all of the things that are and could be wrong with me.  Things that I deem make me unworthy of happiness.  And while I focus on the tiny details it really is about needing to feel worthy.  Not for somebody else but for myself.

I have a therapist and she makes me laugh, cry, think and grow.  And one of the most profound statements of my life came from her to explain these moments in my life.  There are moments in life when anxiety and maybe even depression fill the space an the self doubt and self loathing they bring with oddly provide comfort and friendship.  Random and dysfunctional for sure!  But real and honest as well.

So as I enter into this world of blogging again I feel at ease this evening because I said it out loud.  That I know the self doubt and self loathing is not real and it is not me.  It is simply a by-product of stress and anxiety.  Maybe one day I will conquer it completely and ultimately embrace all of me.

Jan 21, 2015

Coming home

It has been several years since I closed the door on this blog.  I tried to start a new one with a new title all in the hopes that I would be able to maintain something that brought me so much joy but leaving my past behind.  Over the years, I have remembered this site fondly and often considered returning to blogging. And finally the day has come for me to return home.

My life is so different all of these years later. I found true love, share all of my life openly with my family and friends and I have experienced so many new things.  But let's get real, there are so many things that have stayed the same.  My mission to find passion in my career, continue to explore new adventures and challenge myself and to grow as a partner, daughter, sister, friend and whatever else comes my way.

I'm back and looking forward to reading others and being inspired by so many.  I am energized to share new thoughts, questions, ideas and of course funny stuff.