Mar 16, 2009

Suprise joy!

My day started early this morning...4:45 to be exact! And minutes before my alarm went off I opened my eyes to see Fred's sweet face pressed against my face. It was a rare sweet moment that brought me one moment of pure joy. And then the alarm went off and we were both awake and trying to figure out why mornings are so hard! But then I remember that I bought myself a treadmill a month ago and have been getting up early to jump on for 30 minutes while I watch the first couple of seasons of the L Word and it does help jump start my movements.

And then today I left work at a normal hour to discover that it was 72 degrees outside. I put the top down on my bug and drove to the gym, home and then back outside again for a walk around my neighborhood. I LOVE the spring time. And while I was feeling like my day has had enough surprise moments of joy...I finally did my taxes and discovered that while times are tough...I am getting a nice amount of money back. So tonight I am going to bed grateful for the little joy of life!

Mar 15, 2009

Yes I can...

That is the phrase that I repeated to myself over and over again this morning on my way to meet two new people. I had the chance to meet two fellow bloggers...Catherine and Beth and hopefully not only put faces to our blogs but learn about each other as real people and be inspired to write on my own blog. But I have to admit that this morning as I was driving to the coffee shop, I was nervous about putting myself out there in the world. I know that sounds crazy...but it's easy to hide in blog land but a totally different experience meeting face to face. What I learned...they are great people, down to earth, friendly, fun and WICKED SMART!
I have had a love/hate relationship with this blog for some time now. In fact, I have considered closing my blog for awhile, but it's a part of who I am and honestly it documents this crazy journey of a life that I have lived. I explained this morning that my blog is not going to win any awards for literature or mass appeal, but it has been the place I could share all of my thoughts, fears, concerns...everything that felt hard to share out loud at times. It has been my journal of coming out, finding myself, losing myself and pulling it all together again. I have shared my fears, joys, rants, disappointments, sadness, victories and pure nonsense! And you have all come along for the ride!

So I met two new great people! I found a new coffee shop close by that I an ride the scooter to in the summer months. And I think maybe I even felt inspired to come back to my blog and share my journey...

Mar 2, 2009

Isn't really only the moments?

I read a quote this weekend that has been stuck in my head ever since. The quote said something like..."at the end of a life you don't remember the days you only remember the moments." And at first I thought it was such a great quote but the more I think about it the less I'm really sure. I think that maybe it's a combination of both in reality. I don't remember every single day I have lived...thank goodness. But I do remember a lot of memorable moments throughout my life. But in fact, there are certain days when I have felt tremendous joy, happiness and love which I can remember from the start until the end. And there are days when I have experienced extreme loss and sadness that I have replayed from the beginning to end over and over again without comfort.

So the more I think about it...the joyful times stand out as moments I remember. Sadness and hurt stand out as days...that's interesting! How about you?