Jan 6, 2009

Missing piece

Thanks to Gwen's advice and patience of my random and often stupid questions...my blog has a new look for 2009! While I was searching through hundreds of new looks the missing puzzle pieces reached out and slapped me. I have laughed, cried, screamed and questioned on this blog for over two years now. And with the new year I have decided to finish a thought, a feeling...a need. So here it goes!

I have a need to be important to myself and hopefully to others in my life. I have a need to believe that I deserve good things, love, happiness and success. It's embarrassing to actually say out loud, and I do not want any pity...but I want to say that my belief that I don't deserve good things have become self fulfilling prophecies. Now don't get me wrong, I have had some great things in my life, I have an amazing family, wonderful friendships, spunky pets (past and present), good job, nice house...you get the point. But I spend most of my days waiting for the other shoe to drop, just waiting for something bad to happen because I am undeserving of what I do have.

I watched the last few minutes of Oprah yesterday and she was talking about her constant struggle with weight. Hello!!!! We all have that struggle on some level and we don't get paid millions of dollars to discuss the reasons. But the reason I continued to watch...she said something that clicked for me. She was talking about whatever was missing in her life is the reason she feeds herself. For her it's balance, others its money and some it's fulfillment. For me it's pure 100% unconditional love. Love for myself!

So while I could write a million things that I am going to focus on in 2009, which would be great material for the millions of things that I don't follow through with in 2009...instead I'm going to try and just be me. Be me and believe that I'm enough just the way I am.

13 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Wow. I like this look. Is it a Google template?

This Mom said...

That is a lesson I think most of us should take to heart. Good for you for realizing it.

Caroline said...

Love the new look of your blog.

I also watched part of Oprah last night. What made me think was when she said that in order for her to lose weight she needed to be happy with her body exactly the way it is today...including the extra 40lbs she is carrying around. She said that even though she neglected it, her body still worked for her. That just really struck me. It made me realize that I need to take better care of my body because it does always work for me.

I hope 2009 is a great year for you.

PinkPiddyPaws said...

Good luck! I know how hard it can be to remember that you deserve good things and to expect them for yourself. We should all remember that each day. That guy on SNL had it right "Gosh darn it, I'm good enough, smart enough and people like me!"

xoxoxoxoxo

SP said...

I am glad that you are committing to allow you to be you. Because from where I'm standing YOU are pretty damn fantastic.

Here's to a wonderful 2009 my friend. You deserve it.

us 2 said...

good for u.......now that is progress....pat urself on the back....

Gwen said...

It was my pleasure. New look, new attitude! I like it.

R said...

OH YEAHHH!! I am so proud of you my friend. Sooo proud of you. 2009 will be a great year!! And I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE the blog!!!

Stacie said...

well said, and hello...been there doing THAT, sweetie!

Kelly O said...

I think you rock, woman; I really do. Here's to a great 2009!

Catherine said...

I too like the new template, but I don't think firefox loves it much.

WendyB said...

I think you're gearing up to have a great year.

Maurey said...

I think that is a great "resolution."