Mystery solved

Ethel LOVES her peanut butter stuffed Kong every morning. It's actually her version f crack and it's also a great distraction from me sneaking off to work. She has a pink Kong (of course) and usually leaves it on the back porch for me to pick up after hours. That is for the exception of the 1st Kong which disappeared two months ago. She buries her bones in the mulch around the yard so i just assumed it would be found. In the meantime my mom bought her another. Things were going great until three weeks ago when Kong #2 vanished. Ethel and I walked around the yard digging up mulch trying to find the hidden treasure. NOTHING! So...I purchased another and today Kong #3 has vanished.

Luckily for both of us I found #2 on Monday in my alley. It was just lying there waiting to be found with a little part of it chewed off. While we were out looking for #3 my neighbor came out and told me she saw a squirrel with what she thought was a Kong today. Can you believe it! Stupid squirrels!

They aren't real

Get your mind out of the gutter! I was talking about dreams...

But the big question is why can a dream ruin your entire day? I play out a lot of situations in my dreams and some end better than real life and then others...well you get the point. This morning I woke up from a dream that felt so real and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go back to that life. I wanted to live there. And because I couldn't and because it felt so real I have been in a funk all day long. Tears, anger, tears, tears and did I mention tears.

And now it's time for bed again and I'm not sure if I hope for a repeat event or do I dream of dancing in candy land.

Two steps down...#24

This is my year to face the potential for parenthood. As I sat at my grandfathers funeral earlier this year I realized there was no reason for me to continue to wait for the perfect situation. So I did nothing... Well, I did nothing right away but took baby steps for a couple of months.

First I sat my family down and told them that I was serious about being a parent and have explored all of my options and ultimately I am going to try and get pregnant using donor. Check! I met with the specialist regarding the process and have a detailed list of all the things I needed to complete before trying. Check! The doctor did tell me that because of my age we needed to do some extra tests to make sure that I am a good candidate for late pregnancy. REALLY!!! I'm 37 and apparently considered over the hill. Got over that information...Check! My blood work doesn't think that I'm over the hill and still seem to be able to produce eggs (healthy even). So what's next?

I have an appointment this week to have an ultrasound done to make sure that everything is flowing okay and there is no blockage. And then I guess it's a go. I have picked a donor...after having a donor selection party. And I have even started to take prenatal pills per doctors orders. Now I just wait to make sure that everything is good and then I'm ready. I am scared but excited at the possibility. Yikes!

Where did you go?

Does anybody read my blog anymore? Well...I know there are a few known as SPAM! I do wonder what happen to everybody but I guess the truth is that i really use this as my own world to be able to say whatever. Oh well!

I made a promise to myself that by January I would have 100 new experiences of some sort and I'm not really even close to making that goal. So it's time to focus. I have had new experiences so it's time to focus and write. Write for me.