Returning home

This morning I kissed the person that I love the most while tears ran down my face and fear pulsed through my body. And seconds later, I was boarding a plane to return home...a different state. As I walked into my house this morning, I felt panic and emptiness for the first time. I have referred to my girlfriend as my "Binky" and now I sit on my couch worrying about how I can live without that support. I know that we will see each other again, but from this point forward, everything is different. I really do love her and miss her more than I can ever express. I have this relationship that has been a secret at times and yet I have shared with other people in my life. And yet today...I sit alone with no support. I am right now in a long distance relationship and worry every minute how that is going to work for all of us. For now, all I can do is trust in us and hold on tight to the contact we have...event if it is not face to face.