Dec 4, 2007

You don't pick...

so many different things in your life. You don't pick your own genetics. You don't pick the people you fall in love with. You don't pick your parents. Today I met a young man who cried for help. Help to find a safe place to live; help to support the parents who refuse to do the same for him; help to be treated as a real person, with real emotions and real fears.

This boy lives in an abusive environment, both physically and emotionally. He is fully devoted to his parents and is loosing grip on his beliefs that parents protect their children. But in truth, I learned today that his parents, grandparents and uncle have all accepted the abuse this young man endures daily. I sat in front of this kind boy and apologized for the disappointment adults have been to this point in his life. I apoligized that his pleas have not been met and explained that unfortunately we don't get to pick our parents. I looked into his tear filled eyes and had to explain that I am unable to fix the situation. As I watched him cry while begging his mom for help, I also realized that the system has major flaws. Because of this young mans age, the law will not automatically remove him to a safe environment. The organizations designed to protect children are so overwhelmed with reports that children are put in order or priority. This young man is older therefore, he does not rank very high on the list. I had to send him back home with my cell phone number and our police officers number. We talked through different senarious and made a commitment to check in first thing in the morning.

His final question before going back home...will anybody ever pick me? When you look at your child, partner, friend or even a stranger...remember to pick them. No soul should feel so lost...especially a child.


Jaded said...

I am a survivor of child abuse, both physical and emotional. It's very difficult to overcome. The only way I can feel safe and comfortable is to no longer have any sort of relationship with my mother, who now denies she abused her children. She acknowledged it at one time, and even apologized, but several months ago she had some sort of epiphany wherein she decided it never happened and that we're lying. My siblings continue to maintain a relationship with her, because she's our mother, but she makes them miserable. I'm almost 42 years old, but I finally put my foot down and said "enough!" Most people think I should feel bad about cutting my mother out of my life, but honestly, it was the most liberating thing I've ever done.

My heart breaks for this boy you write about. The road ahead of him is a long and hard one. He will be in my prayers.

Renaissance Woman said...

I am sorry to hear that your childhood was filled with fear, pain and hurt. I completely understand cutting off your mother and support that as an adult you finally get to choose something. You get to choose the people you have in your life. Life is short and you should have it filled with warm, caring people.

Thanks for having the courage to share your story.