Jan 31, 2010

Four down

Before anything I want to thank all of you for the support given the past couple of weeks. My grandpa's death has changed me and it's been an emotional journey. But the services did give closure and I was able to say the things that I needed to express. That being said...one of the things that I have walked away with from this experience is the need to have a better spiritual connection.

I was raised without any religion in my life. My parents openly would discuss their spiritual beliefs and also share their personal opinions, but my brother and I were expected to find our own spiritual and/or religious path. I love my parents for that freedom and allowing me to be free of judgement, but...it's hard to believe in something larger in life when you never really have to think about. I have a basic level of beliefs...higher power, forgiveness and spirits but this week I have also realized that I have a lot of unanswered questions. I guess maybe that is more about having faith.

During the services I was moved by the words and passion of the minster. He was solid in his own beliefs and had a clear faith in life and death. It inspired me to explore more and find my own journey to faith. I'm not looking for organized religion because I don't need somebody to define "ideas" and "beliefs" for me to follow. I am looking for my spiritual connection for myself to have unwavering faith in MY LIFE AND IN MY DEATH.

So...this morning I got up and went to a service at the Denver Center for Spiritual Learning. That's number four! It wasn't the right connection for me but was a new experience for sure. So now I'll continue on my list of options...Taoist, Buddhist, Religious Science, meditation and whatever else I can explore.


LittlePea said...

Oh my goodness! I'm not sure if I ever left you a comment before but I usually lurk. I just had to tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your Grandfather. I've never been able to get over losing my Grandparents and I never will. I look forward to hearing about your spritual journey and hope that you find a spiritual "home" however that happens. I had been in a similar search for similar reasons, having grown up in such a rigid religion and last year I found mine. I'm so thankful for it.

Caroline said...

I think it's great that your parents gave you so much freedom when it came to religion/spirtuality. It was so hard growing up and being told what to believe. Now that I am an adult, I am finding it hard to get back to religion. I feel I am a very spiritual person, but am having a hard time finding a common ground between religion and spirtuality. Ever since I left being a Jehovah's Witness, whenever I go into a church I just want to cry. I really need to get past that because I have nothing to be sad about.

I love seeing you accomplish so many of your goals. I think it's really cool!!

WendyB said...

I'm so sorry about the loss you have suffered!

(And I loved the comment you left me)

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I wish you all the luck on your spiriual journey. I went through something like this a few years ago and I'm still tryiing to find my way.

us2 said...

i hope find wonderful spiritual experinces on ur journey of faith...what ever that might be ....there is so much out there to choose from......
take care