I saw leaves

once...and I hope to again one day. But for now...I remember when I saw leaves.

Today is a BIG day…it’s your birthday! I remember when you were a little munchkin walking along side mama ready for any new adventure as long as she was going with you. Your curly blond hair so perfectly represented the wild and beautiful spirit that lives inside your body eager to grow. But now you are a big girl!

Over the past couple of years I have watched you grow tall, your hair change from curly to straight, and blond to brown…but through it all your spirit has NEVER changed. My birthday wishes for you...always dance buggy, continue to ask questions, read books and tell stories. I know that one day, kiddos every where will ask their parents to buy them the Adventures of Sally and Bobo books.

You are now a beautiful 5 year old girl who is kind, funny, smart, giving and full of life! I am sending you a squeeze, kiss and even a booty hut. So today on this very special day have fun, laugh out loud, play with friends, share a new adventure with mama and ENJOY every minute! Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Just what the doctor ordered!

My school has a fall break this weekend, meaning that I had several days to "relax." Hmmm...it's funny that relaxing is all I have wanted but the idea of actually having that time off felt like carrying a piano around on my back. Obviously, I have been in a bit of a funk recently (but working on getting out of it) so this weekend I decided needed a plan to make sure I kept busy. So here is my recap of events...I had dinner and drinks with friends Friday, Saturday and Sunday...okay different friends each time. I went golfing with my friends and my dad at an amazing course; played well and enjoyed the 70 degree temps! I went to a couple of haunted houses (love to scream and laugh at the same time), had breakfast with another friend at the coolest place ever and they might actually add crack to their chi tea. Attended a wild and fancy birthday party with friends, went shopping with my mom, nursed Fred back to health, attended the Obama rally yesterday (I was 15 rows from the stage)! And last night had dinner with friends and then we watched the best movie ever for my mood! Dan in Real Life...loved this movie!

So today is my final day off and I am going to lunch with a friend, finish house hold crap and of course boot camp! There have been ups and downs this weekend, but looking back...it was good and I might have enough energy to finish the semester!

No more balls

Yesterday I drove my little Fred to the vet trying to convince him that it was for the best, trying to convince him that would be quick. Tonight I drove Fred home apologizing and hoping for forgiveness.

I got tagged

So I got tagged from Stacie because she loves my blog! That is very sweet. Sweet and helpful because I wanted to post something but had no ideas.

The rules are to answer the following questions in one word and then pass it on to seven others:

Where is your cell phone? Kitchen
Where is your significant other? Exists?
Your hair color? Blond
Your mother? Amazing
Your father? Loving
Your favorite thing? Laughter
Your dream last night? Blank
Your dream/goal? Acceptance
The room you’re in? Living
Your hobby? Many!!!
Your fear? Not enough
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Peace
Where were you last night? Home
What you’re not? 100%
One of your wish-list items? Rug
Where you grew up? Colorado
The last thing you did? Eat
What are you wearing? Jammies
Your TV? On
Your pet? Playful
Your computer? On
Your mood? down
Missing someone? Yep
Your car? Cute
Something you’re not wearing? Bra
Favorite store? Target
Your summer? Building
Love someone? Yes
Your favorite color? PINK
When is the last time you laughed? Today
Last time you cried? Today

I am tagging and loving these seven blogs...
http://pinkasparag.us/
http://everythingilikecausescancer.blogspot.com/
http://kellygo.blogspot.com/
http://www.suzelssass.com/
http://ladywhodoesntlunch.blogspot.com/
http://pinkpiddypaws.com/
http://liamsar.blogspot.com/

Is that me?

I have this book...scrap book...hope book...book of my passions...book of reminders. Okay, so it's not that easy to describe but I'm going to try. I started to keep pictures, quotes, articles from books and magazines when I moved out at 17. Each of the items I kept spoke to me and at times spoke about me. I think that it was my way of sharing myself and my secrets without having to share with anybody else. The book has grown over the years and I continue to add new pieces and at time take away things that no longer speak to or about me. It is my story...you the know the back story that puts all of the pieces together to make me who I am. I have only shared the book with one person to help express who I am, what I love, what I fear...what I hope for in life. Sharing that book open myself 100% and made me feel vulnerable. But I realized recently that I haven't searched for anything new to add in a very long time. In fact, I haven't even touched the book in over a year.

Last last night I couldn't sleep and was searching the t.v. for something entertaining. Oprah was on and she was interviewing Gloria Steinem. My family often refers to me as the Gloria duplicate because of my quest for equality. It's never meant as a compliment and I have always had mixed feelings about being feminist because of their criticism. I believe in equality, I believe it is necessary and a fundamentally right. But some of the stigmas are difficult to address. For example, I don't HATE men and I don't believe that it's necessary to feel that way when supporting women. When I fell in love with Melissa there was a piece of me that worried that my family would blame that love on my feminism. I know better know and I am comfortable and confident with my beliefs and knowing that I am simply who I am...and I should not have to apologize to anybody. It is also believed feminist are angry people...I am not that type of person. I am passionate and determined and brutally honest...but not angry. But then Gloria made the statement that she likes who she is, what she has done, what she is about...and she didn't sacrifice anything she wanted.

So in the middle of the night I found myself searching for my book. And as I flipped through pages I was reminded of what I love, what I hoped for, what my secrets were and reminder of my dreams. I don't want to be alone all of my life (as Gloria has spent most of her life) but I don't want to be afraid of being myself either.

Paid to talk!

My boss uses that phrase several times a day. Yep, "I'm paid to talk...not help, write any documentations, follow through on anything...just to talk." He went to a training this summer where somebody actually gave him that power to believe that he IS paid to talk. Hmmm...clearly that person was fired from his job for talking and not thinking!!!! And now I have to live with his annoying belief that he only has one task daily.

I recorded Oprah today because she had Suzie on giving financial advice. And after my boot camp, making my vegan dinner and playing with Fred I watched and listened. She was giving advice that people will still want to be working when they are in their 60's. And I wanted to yell...NOT ME!!! I know that I will have to keep working in my 60's, but I can not do my job past that stage of my life. Hell, I can barely make it through tomorrow knowing that I have to listen to stupidity and "I get paid to talk."

So Martha!

This year I decided to try and grow a few things in my garden...food things I mean. So I planted a small basil plant and it grew so big and wonderful I had to start giving away leaves! I also planted one small tomato plant and one small cucumber plant. And look what I have! My tomato plant has produced over 50 tomatoes and I just pulled more off this afternoon. And that cucumber is one of 6 this summer. It was exciting to feel like I could make something grow...actually blossom!

I also found out this summer that my neighbors tree that hangs over my fence is actually a plum tree. So today I decided to try and make plum jelly! Look!!!! Okay, now look closer, its liquid still. HELP! What did I do wrong?

Okay, so maybe planting and gardening is a new skill and making jelly is not!

Sign me up

There aren't really many t.v. shows that I catch regularly...The first 48 (best t.v. ever), Law & Order (the original), Amazing Race (I so want to be on this show) and of course, the Biggest Looser. I am always inspired by how hard the people train, change their lives and loose soooo much weight! Plus, I have a huge crush on Jillian so that is usually reason enough. But I have to admit that after watching last night, I simply wanted to smack those stupid people who are training with Jillian this season. I love that she threatens to cut their arms off, punch them and kick them in the a@#! I mean really, when looking for a trainer to push you to a healthy self imagine wouldn't we all pick the person who yells, curses and threatens us. I would give anything to have a couple of months to train one on one with Jillian and I promise to make her threaten to rip my arms off and beat me with them.

Is this real?

Okay so this week has been crazy at work. It is Homecoming week and that means spirit theme days, powder puff, football, parade, foodfest and of course...the dance! I have shared in the past that attending games and dances was not something I ever had interest in during my own high school years. Well, that really hasn't changed except that now I am required to participate and encourage kids that it's sooo important. But that isn't the strange part of this week...it's something very different.

I don't remember if I have shared, my high school boyfriend cheated on me after two years and got the girl pregnant. That baby is now a sophomore in high school...at my school (such irony)! I don't have much contact with him or his family because he has been staying focused and attending classes and staying out of trouble. But tonight I was supervising the dance floor and there he was showing off his break dancing moves and in that moment felt like time had rolled backwards and I was back at my own high school dance. Well...if I had actually gone to Homecoming I imagine that it what it would have felt like a flashback. Every song tonight was a remix from the 80's (they ended the night with the theme from Dirty Dancing), all of the dresses where a flashback from the 80's (there was even a few headband, neon tights and over sized shirts) and the dance moves...BREAK DANCING! Who knew that was going to have come back?

So I stood there for a few minutes watching this young man dance to impress his date and felt like it was very familiar. Except that the music was so loud that my ears hurt, kids were avoiding me because I am an adult...not cool! And so I am going to bed realizing that the 80's are back and I am excited that I'm past neon anything and watching break dancing isn't exciting.