Where did the oxygen go?

Grief is such a strange emotion. It's like a roller coaster that has highs and lows. At the best of moments, I am remember the sweet times, funny traits and love. At the low moments I find myself on my knees in tears remembering coming home and being greeted, sitting on the couch being lovers (my term of endearment)...even putting food on a plate. My grief has taken over my world and I keep trying to find a shallow place to stand up and breathe...even for a second.

I go to work and try to hide behind the stacks of paperwork, endless flow of kids and chatter of angry parents. And then it's time to go home...and I revert into a weeping, lonely person. I know in my head that grief takes time and is normal. But my heart is having a more difficult time catching up with logic. So for now, I am going to continue to push through the days and hope that one day I will remember all of the memories with tenderness but not emptiness.