Just breathe

That's exactly what I did after my last post. Well I did that and had a therapy session. But it helped me push past that bad place, moment, time. And it helped me to focus on right now what I can control. I can focus on my job (or maybe searching for something new). I can focus on my friendships. I can focus on my health...I actually lost 4 pounds last week. I knew that depression was good for one thing! I can focus on fixing my house and making it a home.

I am determined to continue to have a role in bugs life. She is my heart and even if I'm not one of her moms, I will continue to be available for her as a loved one. I am going to be a mom...maybe not right now, but eventually I will either adopt or carry a child and I will love them.

I am a strong woman who has a lot of love and life to share. While I am sad and have stumbled, I will stand up and take care of myself. I may never have a partner, but I will have a child, I will have bug in my life, I will have my family and friends...and I will have myself.