Jun 10, 2008

Starting over

I have thought about my blog constantly since taking my much needed break, and I have worried, planned, written and erased possible entries on a daily basis. But first, I wanted to thank all of you who have offered support, clarity, understanding and even a kick in the butt over the past couple of months. Starting over is hard and scary, but it's also the only solution possible at this point. So I decided to try and work on myself, like myself and trust myself again...and eventually open myself up to love again. I know that healthy people do not bounce from person to person...that is just crazy behavior and totally unhealthy. And I am determined to be a healthy, whole person again . So as the poster says...everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten:

A - Always make sure that I only give myself to somebody who is honest, caring and has integrity. Somebody that will appreciate who I really am and makes me an equal priority.

B - Believe that I am a good person who loves and lives 100%.

C - Choose to move forward and not get stuck in the ugliness of the ending.

D - Drink for celebrations not for self medication. I have done both the last couple of month.

E - Enjoy the people in my life that are caring, honest, loyal...family, friends and myself.

F - Feel exactly what is in front of me. I can't hide from the sadness, shock, disappointment, anger and even happiness. I have to move through the center of those emotions.

G - Grow and learn from each experience (although it still sucks).

H - Heal. It's a minute by minute process.

I - Investigate all of the things that bring me joy and begin to put back into my life.

J - Just breathe! I know that sounds stupid but it's been a necessary phrase.

K - Keep busy, keep trying and keep moving.

L - Listen, learn and love. I need to listen to my heart, learn to start over and believe love will come again.

M - Make myself move (it forces me to keep busy and get out of my head).

N - Notice the good things about myself. This is hard for me, but I think necessary to make sure I am treated better in the future.

O - Opportunities. I am determined to have new experiences this summer.

P - Prepare for good and bad moments.

Q - Quit blaming myself...I didn't do anything wrong but give my heart and soul.

R - Rest, relax and rest some more. I'm on summer break and need to catch up on some sleep.

S - Survive. I am a survivor and this too will pass.

T - Trust the people who are in my life now. And therapy...I am still going.

U - Understand what I want next and what I am looking for next.

V - Visit with people as much as possible to meet new people, learn new things and just be.

W - Wait...just wait. Time has to help...right?

X - Xplore the world around. Okay, I know that it didn't start with an X but what does.

Y - Yell! I have done that in my house, car...really any place that that urge takes over.

Z - Zip back to writing. I have been writing in a journal on my own, but I am ready to share my ideas and life with you again.


Anonymous said...

Welcome back my friend!! BTW, awesome list.

Marcy "meg" said...

I am glad you are back! Sounds like you have a great plan with your list!

Caroline said...

Welcome Back!!! So happy that you decided to start blogging again. Love your list.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will be OK.

Whiskeymarie said...

Welcome back, my dear.

I think that, so often we get caught up in what we think we are "supposed" to be like and what our lives are "supposed" to be that we fail to see that our flawed, challenging, difficult, complicated, contradictory, funny, odd, wonderful selves ain't so bad after all.
We all fail occasionally.
We all overindulge occasionally.
We all second-guess occasionally.
We all do things we know we shouldn't occasionally.

Live and learn. Sounds like you're doing both just fine.

R said...

OMG!! WELCOME BACK!! i am sooooooooooooo happy to see you blogging again. Girl, you and I are gonna be just fine. WE are gonna be more than fine, trust me!! Your list rocks, I might have to steal some of it sometime :)
You rock and I'm so glad you are back!!

Stacey said...

we are glad you are back and doing well! let us know when you are coming to Aus! You will love it... your plans for the future sound great!! We wish you all the best and look forward to future blogs!!!

Tara said...

Welcome back, you! Before the blog I have now, I started up and then canceled two are three other blogs out of frustration. My friend started calling me a blog diva. ;)

I'm glad you're back!

Candy said...

I found your blog just as you were in crisis, and then you were gone for a while. I'm really looking forward to reading what you have to say as you move on from this.

Jennifer said...

I am so glad you are back. Now I have a way to respond to your lovely comments.

(And no, I'm not too smart... I just read a lot! I'm sure you do too.)

Eye of the Rainbow said...

Welcome back! I just started reading as you left, Im glad you came back!
I love your list!

Renaissance Woman said...

Thank you for the warm welcome back!

Sue - thank you...my friend
Meg - Hope it's a good plan. How's peanut?
Caroline - it's minute by minute
Whiskey - great advice! Thank you!
R - We will get there.
Stacey - I have do doubt I would love it there! Glad your well
Tara - aka "Blog Diva" hoping to keep this site.
Candy - Thanks for visiting. I look forward to reading yours.
Jennifer - You are smart! I read but not like you.
Rainbow - thanks for visiting!

SP said...

I'm glad you are back.

You don't have to be all better. We've all got our own craptastic stuff to carry around. Sometime we can even help each other bear the burden.

minijonb said...

"wlcmbck" is your new license plate!

= : - )

PinkPiddyPaws said...

wow... what a cool way to bring back the blogging vibe! :)

Welcome back! I look forward to "reading all about it". hee..hee..

Stacie said...

welcome back! we are here to help you in any way we can...

Maurey said...

This is a great list. You have inspired me to create my own.