I had dinner tonight with a friend who has always described me as her "show up friend"...the person who sticks by her no matter what happens. But I left dinner feeling disappointed that she has not stuck by my side for the past year. I felt hurt that I have given 100% and I'm not getting that back...not even half (maybe). But the part of my personality that believes in showing up and standing by the people I love reminded me that she is a friend. And maybe I should do less judging about her need to pull away and more understanding about the difficulties in her life. So I walked in my back door and two things happened.
Chester greeted me with pure joy that I was home. And as I bent down to pick him up, Staci called. Staci and I have been friends since we were 15 years old. We were two wild girls who loved to party, laugh and avoid any drama possible. Staci and I don't talk on a regular basis, but when we do it's like only a second has passed. She always listens, supports, cracks a joke and ALWAYS tells the brutal truth. I can depend on her honesty (even if it hurts) and I can always depend on her saying..."I love you...tomorrow is a new day and maybe we'll win the lottery. Can't hurt to hope!" Every conversation we have had over the past 14 years Staci has always ended with the same sentence. So I sat on my couch, listening to her parting words, holding Chester and feeling grateful for the important people in my life. (In no particular order) Chester, Melissa, Ellie, Kayla, mom, dad, Catherine, Todd, Tanya, Jodi, Karey, Staci...those are the top 11 but there are so many more.
I love you...tomorrow is a new day and maybe we'll win the lottery. Can't hurt to hope!
2 comments:
As I get older, I have been re-examining some of my friendships. It's nice to be the "rock", but when it's not always reciprocated, it gets tiring. I've found myself backing away slowly from those friends that leave me feelng disappointed.
You seem to have a very good and caring attitude. That's always a good thing!
I agree with you...it does get tiring. I believe in honesty and loyalty. In my mind I would give 150% to those people important to me. So then it is so heart breaking when you find out that they don't give back.
Thanks for the compliment, but I'm feeling a little walked on and maybe it's time to be less caring. :)
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